B. I. B. E. K. T. H. A. P. A

Beyond the barriers of sorrow

In the dream of beautiful tomorrow

Begging you all the love and care

Everlasting and the one forever

Kinda, soft, gentle and fair

Till the end of horizon and eternity

Hoping to get all your sensitivity

All the untrodden ways of life

Promising to hold ur hand though me in strife

Among the beautiful mountains in paradise...

Pariii.....

"Parii.." So sweet word... the word which resembles and imaginary lady who is so sweet... so cute and so loving... I was rumouring in the darkness without any destination... I had started to live alone... I had started to live in pain... I did frenship with tears and wine... Suddenly oneday so called "parii.." came in to my life.. yeah parii you came in to my life and made me laugh again.... You showed me a dim light very far which I was aimed for.... You showed me the way to live a life happily... you made me cry and made me laugh... you used to dart me for nothing and you used to love me for everything...

I gave u the name "Parii..." for you were totally parii... you have everything that might the so called parii's have... When the love was needed u came taking that love... when the hope was going to be ended.. You lit the candle of hope in my life.. you became my aim for living.. and you became my inspiration to do something... I have lost the love once.. but I see love for me in ur eyes.. I was gifted with ur love... N I was happy...

Parii you have everything.. you have got so nice feelings... you have got so kind heart.. you have got so cute face... I do wonder sometimes looking at the sky in the night... Why did the god provide everything to my pariii and nothing to me.... Why I can't get you.... Such silliness comes in my mind sometimes... But yeah although I couldn't get you I will alwyz b loving you and I alwyz wanna be your support whenever u need that... Anyway now I am going far away from you just to make you happy... I will b loving you alwyz from very far... I will alwyz b wishing for your best... When I am writing all these tears rolled down on my cheeks... but yeah again I have started to live in pain... to live alone... Parii you came into my life but not being mine... That was the worst thing happend to me.. I do think I am borned only to get hurt.... It's okey.. I wish god plz give me so much pain and make my parii happy alwyz... god plz give me all those tears and make my parii alwyz smiling.. god plz give me so much hate and give my parii the best love... the last word to my parii... I LOVE YOU FOREVER....

Missing You madly...

We used to run together when we are in hurry.. we used to walk the untrodden ways together.. n do u remember we used to do so much silly n stupid things together.. those stupid moments make me cry when i miss you now..

The bank of the river we walked together are now very hot n dry.. they lack of our footsteps.. The mountains are waiting us to be in its arms.. The road we tramped together teases me for I am alone.. You know missing someone is the worst thing in this world...

Do you still remember the moments we smoked together hiding from this world.. but now i don't have anyone to hide with me.. so i left smoking.. n the places are empty now.. they told me they too are missing us.. may b those place are feeling like me as I now am alone.. Do you remember we used to quarrel in small matters... But i don't have anyone to debate now.. so I am silent and I don't have words... I feel I forgot to speak... Do you remember u used to sing n i used to admire your voice.. but now the lyrics of the song are lost in the dark dead world... and now i can't hear any voices around me..

I have become totally blind not to see the beautiness of this world without you.... I have become deaf for no one speaks to me... I have become dumb for no one is there to hear my feelings.. This is how my life going on without you.. still I am in hope that one day again we will be together to get back those moments.. I am in hope you will come back to make me speak... to make me laugh.. to make me listen.. and to make walk... Waiting you to come...
I am really miisssing you.. and feeling lonely.....

(To My beloved and best and best friend roshan)

Died for Love..

I sit in the park where I dwell,
For this girl I love so well.
She took my heart away from me,
Now she wants to set me free.
I see a boy on her side,
She says things to him she never said to me.
I ran home to cry on my bed,
Not a word to mother was said.
Father came home late that night,
He looked at me from left to right.
He saw me hanging from a rope,
He took his knife to cut me down.
And on my dress a note was found:
Dig my grave, Dig it deep.
Dig my grave, From head to feet.
And on the top, place a dove.
And remember this, I died for love...

A worthless Life

A village in darkness, very less use of lights, very few words are spoken, very less men to tramp in the blank road, rare to laugh but none was unhappy.

A boy very feared on himself, very self spoken to himself, very scared to speak, a dead life living but very few to comment oh his life.

Inspite of these, "A God" so cruel, "A God" so vivid, "A God" so rude but "The God" prayed by everyone.

Instead of them all, "An Angel" so pure, "An Angel" so true, "An Angel" so white, "An Angel" so cute, "An Angel" so loving, "An Angel" so caring and "An Angel" promising to light the village.

************************

Suddenly, the village became bright, So unique it looked, The village became noisy far to be listened, everyone's smile none to get angry, everything changed in a while and everything so great.

The boy smiled for the very first time. The boy told his name with loud voice to the world, The boy ran a long distance for the first time. So much joy and happiness he found, The boy dreamt for the first time and he overjoyed the dream.

The lights started to burn everynights. The songs started to be palyed till mid nights. The road became too busy. Every house was rhythmed with the laughters. And hence everyone compited to live more, to laugh more, to speak more and to fear very less.

The boy felt being in another world, he got words to speak, friends to laugh, society to envy him and he a different heart to love him.

Days changed, months changed and slowly "Lightness" started to show its power, everyone's got heated for the first time, "Words" showed its power and everyone became non-listener, everyone became runner and "Marathon" became useless, Everyone laughed uselessly the "Smiles" lost its meaning and everyone died for happiness and few got it. They felt themself as if they were no need of each other. They became perfect in each other.

The boy Spoke so much, The boy laughed so much, the boy lived so fearlessly but the boy lived so perfectly but he didn't get meaning of his life.

Everyone was now disturbed, nobody cared for each other, the smile laughed seeing the pains, the happiness clapped seeing the sorrows and the villagers lived a total evil dying life.

The boy tried to laugh, got a drop of tear, the boy tried to speak, the words lost in universe, the boy stepped a leg and he broke his leg. At the last the boy surrendered himself but got "An Hope".

"The Hope" introduced "An Angel"... She was far from the light, still she was burned with knowledge. She was far from the words, still has many best lyrics. She has little kind and loving heart and so many things to trust.

"The Angel" gave her words to make the boy speak, "The Angel" gave her support to make the boy walk. "The Angel" sung her lyrics to make the boy listen and "The Angel" gave her trust to make the boy perfect. But the boy listened the tunes of his darkness, walked the dead dark ways and the boy was again empty like in the beginning. "The Boy" became deaf for he listened so many words, the boy became no more of use for he got so many trust. Still the "The Angel" is singing her songs but not for "The Boy" who didn't listen her....

(my own true story)

A Short Letter

Dear..

I have been like a ghost because there is no sign of life in my movement. I couldn't sleep the whole night, thinking about you, wondering hours and hours....what if i close my eyes forever, what if my dreams remain unfulfilled. I stand right infront of mirror and i tell you...my eyes really plucked my heart. How can anyone be this much in love.

As it gets closer to a day i get more upset. I noe i hate the feelings i hav at the moment. It isn't that easy to miss someone and i realize only after meeting you that i m no longer strong at heart. At moment like this, i just wish love was never there, because the pain wouldn't be this much...Really missing you is so painful that i feel i will die anymoment.

How i wish you could know everythin bout this..I have always feared bout death, heard death is scary, cruel and cold but now i think i never knew what death is, i only know what is leaving you and how it feels to have you no more...touch wood! And after all these, for when she will leave me, i will have my death with me.

Love can make people go crazy and yes i m crazy..

Let Me Love You

There was once a guy who was very much in love with a girl. The sweet girl folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to her beloved. Although, at that time he was just a student in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, that boy told her he was going to city and will never come back. He also told her that He cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the girl agreed.

When she regained his confidence, she worked hard day and night, slogging her body and mind just to make something out of herself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this girl had set up her own company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." she always told herself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this girl was driving, she saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take her long to realise those were her ex-boyfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, she drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot her in his luxury car. She wanted them to know that she wasn't the same anymore, she had her own company, car, condo, etc. She had made it in life!

Before the girl can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary, and she got out of her car and followed them...and she saw her ex-Boyfriend, a photograph of him smiling sweetly as ever at her from his tombstone... and she saw her precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside his tomb. His parents saw her. She walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, he did not leave for city at all. He was stricken ill with cancer. In his heart, he had believed that she will make it someday, but he did not want his illness to be his obstacle ... therefore he had chosen to leave her.

He had wanted his parents to put his papercranes beside him, because, if the day comes when fate brings her to him again she can take some of those back with her. The girl just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

(though it is so tragic but the reality is alwyz bitter.. )

मेरो यो कस्तो दिन

किन किन आज बिहान देखि नै अलिक अनौठो लगिरहेको छ । सधैं भन्दा आज किन किन एकदम निराशा छाइरहेको छ । तरपनी आफ्नै भाग्य लाई दोश दिदै केही न केही हुने आशान्का मा कोठा बाट निस्के । निस्कने बित्तीकै खुट्टामा नरमरो तरिकाले ठेस लाग्यो । हरे शिव के हुने हो आज जस्तो लागि रह्यो । एक्छिन सोचे हुन बाकी के नै पो छ र ।

सधैं जस्तो परी लाई भेट्छु अनी सबै कुरा ठीक भाई हाल्छ नि जस्तो लाग्यो । तर फेरी परी आउने बेलामा बाहिर निस्कनु पर्‍यो अनी परीलाई भेट्न पनि पाईन । यो भन्दा नराम्रो के हुन पर्‍यो र जस्तो लाग्यो । तर करिब २ बजे तिर भेते कति खुशी लाग्यो मन मा भएको सबै कुरा पुगे जस्तो लाग्यो । तर आजको दिन नै खराब परी पनि रिसाएर भोली देखि भेट्दिन भनेर पो गईन ।

"कति कम्जोर रहेछ भाग्य " दीप श्रेष्ठ को यो गीत याद आयो । सधैं कम्जोरी मा नै बच्नु पर्ने भयो जस्तो लाग्यो । आफुलाई नै दोश दिउ आरु त कस्लाई क् भन्ने र शायद आँफैमा धेरै कम्जोरी भएको महसुस गरे अनी त केही गर्न मन नै लगेन ।

सोच्दै थिए आज चै केही गर्नु पर्ला । blog मा केही कुरा राम्रो लेख्नु पर्ला भनेर तर कस्तो opposite हुन पुग्यो । जता ततै बाट किन हो किन आज भोली त यस्तै मात्र हुन्छ । "सोछे जस्तो हुन्न जीवन" यो गीत एफएम मा बजिरहेको थियो । कस्तो गीत ले त झन mood नै अर्को बनाईदियो । सधैं हस्ने घाम लाई पनि आज नै बादल ले ढाकिदियो । सोचे प्रकृतिले पनि मलाई साथ दिन छोडेछ । धन्य हे ईश्वर मलाई कति दुख दिन सक्छस जस्तो लाग्यो ।

हेर्दै जाउ कहाँ सम्म पुगिने हो । जीवन जिउदिन भन्दा पनि बाँच्न पर्ने कस्तो बिडम्बना होल यो । अहिले त यो blog लेख्दा पनि निकै bore लागि रहेछ तर अहिले त यो ब्लग नै एउटा साथी भएको छ । तेसैले एही नै मन क कुरा हरु शरे गरौ जस्तो लगेर लेखे । लौ त अब आजलाई केही लेख्न mood नै बनेन तेसैले एती नै है । भोली कुनै नयाँ नौलो भयो भने चै लेख्नु पर्ल ।